Thursday, December 20, 2018

Basic Military Courtesy

When RPing a military or paramilitary organization, some attention should be paid to basic military courtesy.

To quote the Army Field Manual 7-21.13 4-4:

"Courtesy among members of the Armed Forces is vital to maintaining military discipline. Military courtesy means good manners and politeness in dealing with other people. Courteous behavior provides a basis for developing good human relations. The distinction between civilian and military courtesy is that military courtesy was developed in a military atmosphere and has become an integral part of serving in uniform."

Some simple tenents of military courtesy can easily be incorporated in-game, to add flavor, texture, and a measure of authenticity to RP:

* Proper forms of address:  Master, Mistress - Sir and Dame are reserved for Knights. 
* Proper salutes - Inferiors salute first, and the superior returns the salute. This may be banned under hostile combat conditions so that officers and the like aren't targeted easily by snipers.
* Proper wear of military headgear.
* Proper use of "Fall in" (assembling), "Attention", "At Ease" and "Fall Out (being dismissed)". 

Friday, December 14, 2018

No'la(riel)

NO'LA(RIEL)
===========
(Sung to the tune of "Lola" by the Kinks)

I met her in a place called the Slaughtered Lamb
She walked up to me and she demanded RP
I asked her her name and in a darkvoid voice she said "No'la"
N-O-L-A Nola
No no no no No'la(riel)

Well I'm not Azeroth's most Light-worshipping guy
But when she used the Void I got a contact high
From my No'la. No no no no No'la

I don't stand in the fire so I never get burned
But I was scorched by her (you would have thought I'd learned!)
About my No'la. No no no no No'la

We drank Silvermoon Port and she cast some Fel
Heaven in the night on the road to Hell
She was as seductive as a Succubus
My world shrank down until it was just us
Well I'm not the Shadow's favorite son
Just a rogue with a knife and a loaded gun
But she captured heart and soul and I fell so hard for my No'la

We stripped off our clothes
We kissed for awhile
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
And then I did my best to please!

Well that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for with my No'la
No no no no No'la
Void Elves may be hot but she was pure Fel-fire
And with a look she really lit my pyre
No no no no No'la

Wel left Stormwind for Kul Tiras
My eyes never really left her ass
But No'la just smiled and gave me a wink
And said "Welcome lover to a world of kink!"

Well I'm not Azeroth's most DPS guy
But I am glad where I am and that's no lie
And so is No'la
No no no no No'la No no no no No'la
No'la No no no no No'la No no no no No'la

Dorky Short Girl

I met a WoW player named Dorky Short Girl, and had to ruin a perfectly good Foreigner song in my head:

DORKY SHORT GIRL
================
(Sung to "Dirty White Boy", Foreigner)

Hey, baby, I dunno if you've heard
But where it's at is being a nerd
Are you worried what your friends will see
When they come to visit when we're playing D&D?

'Cause I'm a dorky short girl
Yeah a dorky short girl
A dorky short girl

Don't drive no big black car
Don't like no evening spent in a bar
But if you want a really good time
RP a bard with me, and do some rhyme!

I'm just a dorky short girl
Dorky short girl, dorky short girl
Dorky short girl, dorky short girl
Dorky short girl

Well, I'm a dorky short girl
dorky short girl, dorky short girl
dorky short girl, yeah, dorky short girl
A dorky short girl

I'm often found with my nose in a book
I'll do walkup RP with you, and approch a stranger with a story hook.
My account it maxxed with my alt character builds
I like to dungeon and raid
But I can't seem to find the right guild!

'cause I'm a dorky short girl
Dorky short girl, yeah, dorky short girl
Dorky short girl, I'm a dorky short girl
Dorky short girl

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Pawn Threatens Rook

The man known as Elladan Hawkfist unlocked the two obvious and one hidden lock to the front door of his room in a broken down building in the Old Town district of Stormwind, and slipped inside without a candle in hand... he preferred operating in the darkness of the night as much as possible. He slipped in the room and re-locked them behind him. 

"Hawkie, Hawkie, Hawkie... You've been a bad boy," a deep voice came from across the room.  Elladan crouched and spun, two blackened iron shuriken flying out, invisible in the darkness where he thought the voice had come from. Two long fixed-blade razors were drawn from scabbards strapped under his vambraces, ready to strike.

"Nice reflex, Hawkie... but pointless," said the voice once more, but from behind him. Elladan began to move... but went as still as a statue, someone else's blade to his throat. "You may be a young ball of piss and vinegar, but do you know what always beats a young ball of piss and vinegar?" the voice asked.

"What?" asked Elladan.

"An old, treacherous ball of piss and vinegar."  A hand reached out and took first one of his razors away, and then the other. 

"Nice steel, but stupid, using Alterac razorblades..." The voice chuckled. "You might as well tattoo 'SYNDICATE' across your neck, and beg any self-respecting Ravenholdt-trained shadowhawk to cut your throat, using their signature weapon."  

The Syndicate was a criminal organization formed by the former king of Alterac after he betrayed the Alliance to the Horde, and were betrayed by the Horde in turn.  Led by for former nobles of Alterac and their households. they preyed upon their own former citizens, the kingdom of Stromgarde, the Horde... they were against the entire world and reveled in cruelty, rapacity, and all manner of atrocity. 

Ravenholdt was a guild of thieves and assassins, based in Ravenholdt Manor, and had been the enemy of the Syndicate since they first appeared. Operatives trained by Ravenholdt were the best thieves and assassins and resented the thuggish cruelty and wanton violence of the Syndicate.  Ravenholdt thieves were proud of rarely having to harm others in practicing their trade, and their assassins were precision instruments, like a scalpel wielded by the best surgeons; they removed cancers from the body of mankind, with almost no collateral damages.
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," lied Elladan.  Elladan was a good teller of falsehoods and had had a lifetime of practice.

"Sure you don't," said the voice. The blade next to Elladan's throat vanished as if it had never been. "Just like that burn mark near your thumb next to the webbing of the other fingers isn't a scar from removing a Defias Brotherhood tattoo.  Light a lamp, we have some talking to do, and I want to be able to look in your eyes if I have to kill you."

Elladan did as he has been instructed, and was not horribly surprised when he saw his intruder in the dim light. The fellow wore a complete suit of leather armor, reinforced with riveted steel strips, all covered with a coat of midnight blue lacquer. He had two broad-bladed daggers, thick at the hilt and tapering to a triangle point, the kind of blade useless for throwing but ideal for parrying larger swords.  His helm was stylized as a raven's head and marked him as the assassin known as the Rook, the same Rook who had advised him to seek out the gathering of the Brotherhood of Valor, who had recently employed Elladan to investigate their one of their own, Commander Jon Chess.

"You have been asking questions about Jonathan Chess. Tell me everything you've managed to find out," commanded the Rook.

Elladan had spent the last three days spending coin, gathering information. Many had chosen to not talk about Chess, and the few who had, had demanded gold, not the usual silver or copper required. Chess was either loved or feared - possibly both.

"Commander Jonathan Chess had been raised in the Stormwind Orphanage after the renegade Dalaran wizard named Arugal and his feral Worgen destroyed the town of Pyrewood in the northern Gilnean barony of Silverpine.  When he grew old enough he had left, and gained his first job as a rat catcher in the Old Town district of Stormwind," Elladan began.

The Rook interrupted him. "When he first arrived, Jon had no last name.  He was born Jonathan Summervale, but when he arrived, he had a signet ring of the Silverlaine family around his neck."

"How do you know..." said Elladan, curiously.

"If you had been trained at Ravenholdt, you would know that most of being a professional assassin is being able to research your target.  I have long had my own file on Chess.  Continue."

He had paid good silver to Orphan Matron Nightingale when her boss, Shellene had refused to take money - apparently, Jon still came back a few times a month, bearing gifts of cheese and reading adventure stories to the children of the Orphanage.  Either he had not paid Nightinggale enough, or he had failed to ask the right questions.

"Chess was then been hired by Elling Trias to act as a merchant factor, traveling..."

Again he was interrupted. "Elling Trias gave him the last name of 'Chess', because he said that trying to give Jon orders was like talking with a fellow playing the game - Jon always was asking questions about what to do in case of contingencies of problems he foresaw," Rook said. "Keep going."

"...through Kalimbor and the Eastern Kingdoms, delivering cheeses and taking orders for fulfillment. He was then based in Theramore, but was fortunate enough to be out of the city when it was destroyed."

"Chess lost the woman he loved when Theramore was destroyed, and friends he loved like family.  I don't think he thought of it as lucky," commented Rook.

"I suppose not..." said Elladan, thinking that he himself would have been grateful if an exploding mana bomb had destroyed his family; he had hated his older brother, who had directed Syndicate operations in the Arathi Highlands. "In any case, after Theramore, he enlisted in the Alliance military and was sent to Northrend as a reconnaissance scout, where he learned cartography, and sneaking around and so forth.  Apparently, he was pretty good at it, as he had been promoted to the rank of Commander before he got out."

"Understand that rank in the scout service isn't like normal rank... it's higher because scouts operate under a separate chain of command, and normal line officers try and give orders like they're addicted to it, they can't help themselves... scout rank lets the scouts dodge that trap. Put a lot of scouts in the stockades for insubordination before they figured that out..." The Rook chuckled.

"Right... you know, I served in Northrend myself, as one of those line troops," commented Elladan.

"I know," confirmed the Rook. "I also know you served with Aidan Falconcrest... who died there."

Elladan fought down a wave of panic.  He knew.  How the bloody Fel did this guy know, and who had he told?

"Continue," said the Rook.

Elladan hesitated a moment and continued what he had discovered.

"So, after he got out, he spent some time with the Argent Crusaders in Heathglen, then he returned to Stormwind..." and again the Rook interrupted.

"In Northrend, he fell in love with a Draenei paladin, and he followed her to Hearthglen. When she dumped his ass, then he returned to Stormwind," added the Rook.

"Yeah?  Do you know her name?"

"Not important.  You want to know her name, ask Chess."

"In Stormwind, he hung out his shingle as a private investigator.  He joined the Allied Detective Agency for a time, but that didn't last.  He was engaged to a Lynesia Deh'lorei for a time.  He made himself a name helping the new Ren'dorei to the city, helping them find work.  Then he vanished for three weeks."

"He didn't vanish, he was taken by Scarlet Crusader renegades, who didn't want the Ren'dorei helped.  They broke him down and tortured him, and then they twisted his mind, tried to turn him into a serial killer of Ren'dorei."

"What happened?" asked Elladan.  He hadn't found even a hint of this!  

"Well, according to some, Chess was freed by a Druid of the Talon, who had been sent a message by Aviana, if you can believe that... in any case, the Scarlets didn't finish the job, and Chess is still somewhat broken, especially where Ren'dorei are concerned. Be careful about Jonathan Chess, boy - he seems like a nice enough fellow, helping Ren'dorei and orphans and all... but he can - and will - cut your throat clean if he thinks for a second that you are a danger to him and those he loves - which includes the Brotherhood. Accept whatever jobs you want from them, but don't ever think of doing them dirt - not unless you kill Chess first."

"Why do you care?" Elladan asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you clearly know a lot about this guy - he a target of yours?"

"Oh, much worse... I am of Ravenholdt, and Ravenholdt is run by Lord Jorach Ravenholdt.  And Lord Jorach is fond of his cheeses... and do you know who supplies Ravenholdt with cheeses?"

"Jon Chess," said Elladan, shaking his head.

"Yes, Jon Chess.  So if something bad happens to Chess, the wrath of Ravenholdt will descend on whoever was responsible.  And do you know who in Stormwind is part of Ravenholdt, besides myself?"

"No..." said Elladan, thoughtfully.

"That's right - you don't.  It could be the Dwarf who sold you tobacco for your pipe.  It could be that wench you tumbled at the Gilded Cage.  It could be anyone... but the one thing you can bank cash on, is that whoever it is, you'll never see it coming.  We're professionals."

"I understand," said Elladan.

"Elladan Hawkfist, who is not Aiden Falconcrest...know this.  Ravenholdt does not have it's eye on you, they consider Aiden Falconcrest died in Northrend," said the Rook. "I will be taking my leave now."  The Rook moved like lightning and tossed a small smoke grenade to the floor of the apartment, which exploded in smoke which smelled of brimstone.  When the smoke had cleared, the Rook had vanished into the Shadow.

*     *     *     *    *

Some time later, the fellow most knew as Jon Chess removed the armor and stylized helm of the Rook, and relaxed one of the bolt-holes he had in Stormwind for such occasions, smiling.  He was glad that Elladan had not found out any of the actual truths about Jon Chess, like the fact that he was actually a bastard of the Silverlaine line, or that Trias himself had sent Jon to Ravenholdt to be trained for Jaina Proudmore, who had asked the retired spymaster of Stormwind for help defending Theramore. 

Or that Jon had become the ruthless assassin known in the trade as the Rook, and that the Rook continued to work for the Alliance military, "removing prices from the board".

Jon respected anyone who decided to turn their backs on the Syndicate, where the only acceptable way out was to be killed in action.  Jon was glad that it had not proved necessary to kill him.

After all, Lord Jorach Ravenholdt had named him the Rook because it was both another name for ravens, and also a powerful chess piece.  

Saturday, December 1, 2018

The Case of the Missig Azerite Shipment - Prologue

Jon Chess, Agent of Cheese and the commander of the Brotherhood of Valor scouting division, sat at his desk in the Scouting Den, a cavern complex that served as a base of operations and barracks for the reconnaissance force, reading two letters.

The first had been delivered to the Blue Raven tavern, addressed to Commander Jon Chess.  It read:

"Commander,

Your name has come to my attention as one who may be trusted to conduct an investigation with discretion. A Kul Tiran-flagged ship transporting a sizable shipment of Azerite ore to Ironforge by way of Menethil Harbor when it was attacked and sunk by pirate vessels crewed by goblins.

We believe that the trade prince of the Bilgewater Cartel was behind the hijacking of the shipment, for an unknown purpose. The size of the shipment makes this a matter for extreme discretion, as the destructive power of a shipment that size is potentially enormous.

I have assembled a team of Sentinels to begin preliminary investigations, but I would like to request that you supply one of your own operatives versed in Orcish. If possible, I would like to request a Ren'dorei, as a former Sin'dorei would have an excellent command of the language.

Please have your scout meet with my team on the Ashenvale side of the Azshara border; your scout will be expected by them. Please brief your scout that they will be meeting with Sentinals, to minimize any potential misunderstandings.

I do apologize again on not being able to meet with you, but when the matter is dealt with I will bring you the bag of gold from the Alliance treasury myself.

- Sentinel Skystriker -

The letter had included a signed account from the captain of a similar merchant vessel; the lost ship had been sighted by one of several decoy ships.  The decoy ship had seen the wreckage, including many dead goblins - the victory had not been bloodless, but had been bought, paid for in goblin lives.

When Jon had first read the letter, he had sought confirmation from SI:7; he did not know Sentinel Skystriker,  and had been suspicious.  Jon was not about to send one of his team into what might well be a trap, especially the one he had in mind for the assignment.  Mathias Shaw himself had confirmed Skystriker's credentials and verified that an expected shipment of Azerite ore had indeed gone missing under suspicious circumstances.

Using his communications link, Jon summoned Zaneryne Grimsky to the Scouts Den.  When she arrived, Jon got up from his desk and approached her.

"Zane, let me put off my Commander Chess hat for a moment," Chess said.

Zane stopped in front of Chess, giving him something that was partly a wave, partly sloppy salute, and partly a blown kiss. "Well then hold onto that kiss for later then." 

Jon kissed Zane tenderly before becoming her commander. 

"Fuck later," he said. "Have a seat?"  Jon indicated one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Zane laughed softly "Like your style," she said, pulling out one of the chars and sitting.

"Zane, I have a request from a Sentinel Skystriker for a recon scout to join a Sentinel investigative team in Azshara," he informed Zane. "I have confirmed the authenticity of the request with SI:7, so it is not a trap."  Jon was well-known to be a suspicious and somewhat paranoid fellow.

Zane raised an eyebrow, wondering why she would be following bunch of Kaldorei into Azshara, "Okay...is there more information to it than that? I don't see why Sentinels as capable as they are would need a Ren'Dorei." 

Jon handed her the letter.

Zane read the letter, sucking on her teeth as she understood why she was requested. "Go me and my history with the Horde..."  Zane then repeated herself in fluent Orcish.

"Zug zug, sweet love," said Chess in a dry voice. "I won't insult your professionalism by telling you to be careful - but come back and report all in one piece, yeah?"

"That's the plan," confirmed Zane. "Yes, you should buy one Zane-o-reno lunch - no telling how long I will be in Azshara away from you." 

"Lunch it is then!" said Chess, standing up from his desk. "Maybe you can help me find that kiss that got delayed?"

"Hmmm... help you find a kiss that got delayed...?  Well, treasure hunting is my thing.  Let's check the map...

"The map is back at my place... shall we go hunt for it together?"

"Ruining my cute moment there..." Zane said.  She stood up and opened her own map out and pressed it across his face.  She leaned in and kissed his cheek, then grabbed his chin to turn it, and kissed his lips. "No, think that is better."

"Much better, confirmed Jon, and the two of them went in search of lunch.