The Deeprun Tram has long been overlooked by the citizens of both Ironforge and Stormwind as the marvel of Gnomish Engineering and ingenuity that it is - a fully enclosed underground pair of tunnels lined with gantry and a set of double tracks. These tracks guide two tramcars, a set of three linked wagons which run between Ironforge and Stormwind.
After the debacle of the Second War, the Stormwind crown faced a massive rebuilding project of the city and surrounding area which had been devastated by the orcs of the Horde. To limit the military possibility of either Stormwind or Ironforge being completely besieged, the Alliance engaged the genius of High Tinker Gelbin Mekkatorque, who designed the grand subterranean railway system that would link Stormwind and Ironforge. After not a few incursions by plagues of rats, the Deeprun Tram has allowed goods, services, food, and other necessities of life to travel safely between the Kingdom of Stormwind and the Kingdom of Ironforge.
Best of all, it was free, and the transit was both long enough and smooth enough to give me some serious time to think about what to do next.
Or more accurately, who to bribe next.
While Melissa D'Arque provided both long-legged, red-haired motivation to get started, she had also distracted my enough that I had forgotten to make her sign the usual employment contract, which specified the daily rate (which was a modest 20 silverweight per day), but also to establish an expenses account for the case - which naturally included a few items that were going to be hard to document with receipts for reimbursement; you can't often bribe someone and then demand they sign a receipt, after all. Still, given that once she told me of Keynala's situation, I would have worked the case for free. Keynala was a friend, and one of the few Dwarf women I knew who didn't look at me like I was some half-breed nightmare of Troll and Trogg.
Being a private investigator severely limits one's social contacts, as people never really feel they can relax around someone whose day job is peeping through windows and sorting through other people's dirty laundry. When I make a friend, I do my best to keep them healthy - and I never take cases that might involve hurting my friends.
But in any case, there were two things I needed to do post-haste; first, I needed to speak to Keynala about the case, and second, I needed to pull information from people within the Ironforge criminal justice system. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), I knew the Ironforge criminal justice system rather intimately, with the Stonefist side of the family always somewhere in the shadows on the criminal side. Getting to see Keynala should not prove to be difficult, as I could represent myself as part of her legal defense team (possibly the only member of her legal defense team, come to think of it, but again, my Stonefist relatives knew a handful of clever legal advocates).
Finding out what the prosecution had in terms of evidence against her might be a little more problematic - but then again, like I said, I knew some people.
I entered the Stormwind entrance to the Deepwater Tram, and bought a set of Deeprun Rat Kabobs from a gnome named Nipsy; he and his brother Monte had a racket going where Monty kept the Deepwater Tram rat population under control, and Nipsy marinated the meat and cooked them over a grill with onions and mushrooms. Delicious.
By the time I hit the other end of the tram, I had a plan.
The Ironforge City Guard was a fierce but sleepy force, more dedicated to the defense of Ironforge from potential Horde or Dark Iron incursions than anything else; I'm not saying that they wouldn't stop you if you blatantly attacked someone with no provocation (and understanding that casting aspersions on another dwarf's clan was considered a valid reason for naked assault... provoked assault, they called it). They usually only got involved once the fight was over, to levy a fine for Disturbing the Peace and to send the wounded and the dead to the Mystic Hall for healing or final rites, whichever were deemed appropriate.
The actual criminal activity was the province of three specialized guardsmen, known as Thief Catchers. Thief Catchers are charged under special charter by the Iron Throne to undertake law enforcement, and while they could technically involve City Guards for assistance, all three of the Thief Catchers had learned early in their careers that the City Guard looked assisting them in the performance of their duties and opportunities of enriching one's self with monetary considerations to develop myopia and bad memories.
If there was an arrest to be made, inside or outside of Ironforge, it would have fallen to one of them. It did not take more than a fistful of coppers to a ne'er-do-well gnome named Fenthwick to find out that it was Thief Catcher Shadowdelve (not his colleagues Thunderbrew nor Farmountain) who had gone out to Theramore to make an arrest, and bring the malefactor to the Ironforge holding cells.
I caught up with Shadowdelve as he made his rounds, which today covered the Mystic Hall to the Auction House and back again. Shadowndeslve bore twin axes and wore a pair of Cats Eye Goggles to aid in seeing rogues who had the ability to meld into Shadows or procure invisibility vial alchemical means. He has a full head of hair and his coal-colored beard was neatly tucked into his belt.
"Hail, Shadowdelve!" I called out to him as his path took him past where I had appropriated a patch of wall to hold up.
"Guid morrow tae ye, Greyhawk. 'Tis a foine afternoon for it, isnae?" he said. I had been gone from Ironforge proper for too long and his thick Dwarven dialect was hard to follow.
"You have the right of it, Master Shadowdelve," I conceded, not really sure what it was precisely a fine afternoon for, precisely, but agreeing with him would do no harm. "I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time?"
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| Thief Catcher Shadowdelve |
"Och aye, o' course ye may!" he said, his voice cheerful enough that I assumed he was smiling beneath his impenetrable beard and mustache.
"I am told you had an all-expense-paid trip to Theramore Isle, to fech a lassie home again?" I said. "Did she give you any trouble?"
"Nay, that she did not, although her employer was another matter; she spit and yowled like a mother cat over one of her kittens, but I had a proper warrant, so there was not a lot her boss could do, when all was said and done," Shadowdelve answered.
"Oh, then, well-done to you," I said, congratulating him. "It must have been something important to send you down to Menethel Harbor to cross the waters and back."
"Oh, that is was - the lass is facing a charge of treason, don't ye know?" Shadowdelve said. "It turns out that she was herself hald Dark Iron, and sold information about the defenses inside of Gnomeregan to spies from Shadowforge City." He leaned forward and whispered "A certain bunch of gnomes offered me a small fortune to look the other way while they performed a bit o' back-alley justice, but I put an end to that! When we got here, I put her down in the Warlocks Hole." The Warlocks Hole was the part of the Ironforge holding cells designed to inhibit mage teleportation and demonic portals.
"She's that dangerous, then?" I asked.
"Nay, she's pleasant enough, and a priest besides... but the Hole prevents vigilantes from teleporting in as well as out." Shadowdelve barked a laugh. "She should be safe enough until trial, I'm thinking."
"Well, that's good to know. Please, when you finish your shift tonight, have a drink on me," I said, slipping him a gold. "A minor reward from a grateful citizen."
"Oh, thank ye, lad..." He said, and as I turned away added. "Davros, I know ye tae be a guid fellow, but understand this... she WILL see trial. Be careful how you tread with this... I know ye like to sometimes help, one side or another, as ye see your way, and I will nae stand between a man and his conscience, Stonefist or not. But there is no give in this case, no amount of money large enough for anyone to be looking the other way. The Iron Throne has both eyes bent her way, and she will see a fair trial."
"That's all I want, Master Shadowdelve. A fair trial and justice," I said.
Getting in to see Keynala was a very straightforward process, without the usual banter with the screws (the guards in charge of the prison). I presented myself to the guard at the entrance and told them that I had been engaged by concerned parties in Theramore to investigate. I even had a writ with the Proudmoor signet; to be fair, it was carefully worded to imply much more than what was actually true, and the official seal did come from a really, really good copy that I'd had made before I returned the original seal to the clerk's office.
Getting to the Warlock's Hole required taking me past three levels of other prison cells. It was amazing - and depressing - how many people I knew were waiting for their trials, including Uncle Mortimer Stonefist. The guards didn't seem to mind short stops along the way to Keynala's imprisonment after I gave them some beer money to toast their health.
One of the guards brought me a stool as I sat just out of reach of the bars of Keynala's cell. The cell was small, perhaps six feet across and deep, but unlike most of the prison cells, the stone perimeter where the bars met the stone had glyphs and sigils carved within the stone, no doubt part of the wards for the cell. The cell contained a simple pallet bed, a simple wooden chair, a chamber pot, and the cell's occupant, who had curled up in a sitting position on the bed facing the back wall of her cell, her knees drawn up to her chest.
"Miss Simplestone?" I said, in a soft voice.
Keynala did not respond. She was clad in a simple set of double-stitched robes, which had been provided by the prison.
I tried again, pitching my voice slightly louder. "Keynala, I have been engaged by Melissa D'Arque on behalf of the Phoenix Ascendant to investigate this matter. Would you be willing to answer some questions?"
I unrolled my forged credentials. "Key?"
The sitting figure grunted at me from her corner, providing the first indication she could hear him.
"Phoenix Ascendant, I don't want anything to do with them," said, sighing deeply and rising to her bare feet on the cold flagstone. Her auburn hair was a tangled mess, but given that she had been arrested and transported here, I could hardly blame her for not packing a comb. She had bags the size of Traveller's backpacks under her eyes; clearly she had not been sleeping well, if at all.
Again, I could hardly blame her.
"How is Melissa?" she asked, her voice a croak much less melodious than I remembered.
"Melissa is in quite a foul mood, given that her best friend has been arrested on charges of treason. She believes you to be entirely innocent... as do I," I said. Having obtained her attention, I shredded my forged paperwork. "Now neither Phoenix Ascendant nor Lady Proudmoor are involved, just you and I." I paused, to let that sink in. "Have you hired an advocate yet?"
Keynala shrugged her shoulders, as if the matter of legal representation was irrelevant. She stood, and moved the chair closer to the bars. "Advocate?" she scoffed. "No, why would a half Dark Iron with no affiliation with anyone have an advocate?"
"Key, there are certain legal principles that are real, here," I said. "The first is that whether you participate or not, you will get a trial. You are allowed to have an advocate defend you. You are allowed to hire an independent investigator."
I bent over and placed a single Ironforge copper penny on the smooth flagstone, and slid it across the ground to her feet.
"I am told that there are lots of eyes on the trial. Not only will you have a trial, but with such attention, the prosecutor is going to bend over backwards to make sure it's fair; they don't want any mistakes or irregularities in the proceedings. That means there is room for us to maneuver - but time is our friend, not theirs. The more time we can obtain, making them follow due process, the more time we have to prove your innocence. So let me ask again - do you have an advocate?"
"No, Mr. Greyhawk, I do not have an advocate; why don'a ye go ahead an' be that fer me, then?" her voice was redolent with sarcasm, but I saw that the harsh lines around her eyes soften, and blur. She was a strong woman, was Keynala - if I had been arrested, incarcerated, and seemingly left to rot, I would have bawled like a wee bairn at the first sign that I was not alone.
"Give me the copper coin, then - we will count that paid in full, and in front of witnesses," I said, indicating the watching guards with my eyes.
Keynala looked down at the coin and back to Greyhawk.
"I have no pride," I said. "I will fall to my knees to grovel and beg if I have to."
Keynala rose and pushed the coin across to me before turning her back.
I picked up the coin, and said " I am hired, and I get to oggle a petty backside. I will consider that a tip, of sorts". By establishing the client-advocate relationship, my ability to help Keynala opened up several avenues.
Keynala had begun to silently sob, and her shoulders shook a little. Mixed with her muffled sobs, I could hear a half-chuckle escape her lips.
"Wit' this robe certainly shows enough of it. No room ta hide an axe or staff fer certain," she replied.
"Although I regret the circumstances, I do not regret the view..." I quipped. "Are you being fed? Do you need anything? Bath? Clothes? Wine?" I paused and then added "Viking beaver cheese? I know a guy..."
"Any other time y'd make me blush ta mah ears, Mr. Greyhawk, an' tingle all over" I hoped she meant the flirting, and not the mention of the Viking beaver cheese. She sighed, and walked back to her pallet, resuming her sitting position. "
"I have questions," I said.
"What do ye wanna know?" Keynala responded.
"You are part Dark Iron in heritage?" I asked.
"Aye I am, she affirmed.
"Tell me how that happened... never mind, that came out wrong. I know how it happened, not how... oh you know what I mean. What brought you to Ironforge?" I clarified.
"I was a mere babe when mah parents passed in the War," she said. I assume she meant the War of the Three Hammers. "Mah uncle took me in"
"And your uncle lives in Ironforge? May I tell him you are well?" I asked.
"He don'a care ta much now that everyone knows," she said, her voice as filled with bitterness to put Black Bean Brew to shame. Ouch. Time to change that subject, clearly.
She waved her hand dismissively "But if ye wish tae, go ahead."
I nodded, and said, "Do you have any details about why they have accused you of treason, of selling Gnomeregan defense plans to agents of Thaurissian?"
"No," she began. "It's nae been a secrect thae I've made it a point to study Thaurissian history an' tae attempt tae help those taken into bondage under Blackrock Mountain."
"I suppose thae I was just an abvious, easy target tae be their scapegoat."
"So there is no hard evidence, just circumstancial prejudice?" I asked.
"They haven'a exactly discussed wit' me what proof they have," she said. "Admittedly even when they do speak wit' me I do nae exactly hear 'em."
"Very well. That is a good place to start, then."
"Anything else?" she asked impatiently.
"Yes. Allow me to get you visitors. I know Melissa is very worried. And you have other friends, as well, who must be frantic."
Keynala nodded with a sigh "Mel is a good lass." She brought her knees to her chest again, hugging them. Her voice cracked a little ass she responded "Do what ye will, but tae be honest 'm not wishin' anyone tae see me like this"
"If I get you better food, will you eat it?" I asked. "And if I can get you a bath, will you take it?"
Keynala shook her head. "'Mhm not hungry."
"With all due respect, I do not see what your hunger has to do with it. You need food to stay healthy. Especially cheese," I said. "Maybe some books?"
Keynala chuckled over her sob. "Only if a naked man is there ta wash mah back... I don'a wish fer anythin' Mr. Greyhawk"
A few minutes of silence passed between us, and I shook my head as if to clear it of cobwebs. "... I am sorry, I dont think I heard anything after you had me giving you a bath."
Keynala blinked a few times, and started to laugh softly.
I stood, and slowly etended my hand and arm into her cell, my fingers open. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and rose, stepping close. "That made me laugh, didn'a think I would feel that again."
"Dearest Keynala... do not give up hope. Trust me. Trust Mel" I said.
Keynala took his hand, seeming to draw strength from the contact. "I don'a have much of that left Mr. Greyhawk".
"Then trust my inherent untrustworthiness," I said with a grin. "Never give up on a buffoon of a scoundrel Stonefist, either."
Keynala's lips quirked unwillingly into a half-smile. "Good thing yer handsome, an' I thought so before all this."
"Then would it be killling ye tae call me by my first name, Keynala?" I said, laying on the Ironforger accent thickly.
Keynala threw her head back and let out an unforced, pleasant laugh.
I took a half-step forward, and before the guards could object, kissed her fingers interwined with my own. I dropped her hand and stepped back. "There, I will reclaim that kiss loaned to ye in the Darkness, with full interest, mind!"
Keynala blinked, bemused, as her cheeks immediately darkened several shades of red all the way to the tips of her ears.
Yes, I am shameless, but she was laughing now. I considered that a major victory.
"I cannae promise I will eat, or change, she said with a sigh, "but I will do mah best."
"Nobody ca askf ro mroe than that," I said, nodding. "Someone will visit every day, whether you do or not. You will not be alone and fogotten, Keynala.
"Oh, I'm nevr alone..." she said. "Thae guards make sure I do nae do anythin' stupid."
"Well, lets see if I can arrange company a trifle more congenial, then..."I said, grinning.
"Davros!"she exclaimed, achieving something I had thought impossible - her coloring discovered a new deeper shade of red.
"Come tae thae," I mused out loud, "I don't think I could manage someone less congenial than the guards." I turned to the guards, who were smiling as they eavesdroped. Even better.
I left the cell, and added Melissa's name to the 'allowed visitors' list; I could do that, as her official advocate. I took the tram back to Stormwind, where I met with Melissa in the Pig & Whistle Tavern in the Old Town section.
Melissa had adpted the table under the stairs as if it was her own, and not my unofficial office desk. I sat down opposite her.
"Keynala is well, but very despondant," i said with a heavy sigh.
Melissa took a long drink from the tankard in front of her. "I'm not surprised...Well, hopefully it she won't be in there for long." She sighed. "Did you learn anything new?"
"I learned quite a bit... and yet, not enough," I said. "But the investigation continues; indeed, we are just beginning."
"No shite, Greyhawk," she opined. OK, so I have a penchant for the obvious.
"But I need your help. I need a change of clothes for Keynala; as you can tell, I can barely dress myself. She needs something comfortable, and some decent food. Can you get something appropriate for her? I wouldn't know where to begin."
She waved off the notion that it was in any way an imposition, nodding to herself. "I'll grab some things from her room. Do you think we can get any personal effects besides clothes in?
"Probably not. She is in the highest level of security they have... so clothes, maybe food. Probably nothing else," I said. And she doesn't want visitors, but she needs to know she has friends who she can rely upon. I think her embarrassment is the least of her problems at the moment."
"I can do that," Melissa confirmed. "Clothes, snacks, people... got it. What are your next steps?"
"Next, I go and bribe a file clerk. I need to know what evidence they have, and the easiest way...
"...Say no more. This isn't my first go around the bend, Davros." Melissa thought for a moment, and grinned. "You know, we never did discuss your rates."
Greyhawk held up a Ironforge penny that he had pirced and put around his neck on a leather thong. "Paid in full."
"Key?" she asked.
"Key," I confirmed.
"Damn that women. I should have guessed." Melissa chuckled to herself, and stood up from the table, taking hold of her staff as she did so.
"I am blessed with such stubborn women in my life, apparently," I confessed.
"Apparently, though you shouldn't be surprised. In this line of work, we all tend to be stubborn." She slid two gold coins across the table. "Drinks and dinner are on me," She said, daring me to challenge her on the subject.
Mama Greyhawk didn't raise any fools. "...fair enough."
Melissa nodded and... teleported in a shimmering portal of arcane energy, no doubt to Theramore.
I ordered a bowl of stew with unidentified meat in a congealing mass of vegatables and gravy. It was better than prison food. If only for culinary reasons, I had to get Keynala out of there.
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